we have pet lesbian snakes
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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