What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
