I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
did you just send me my own nude
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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