Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just googled if crying burns calories
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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