you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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