i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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