I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
