Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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