Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Will exercising make me less horny?
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