Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
