you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
