hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize