I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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