I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
