In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
