I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize