he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My dad just said "fuck circus"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
