my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize