im drinking this country out of the recession.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize