i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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