The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
