I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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