I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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