VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
