So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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