someone get that fucking seahorse.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
