I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
