you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize