I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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