Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize