Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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