We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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