at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
