I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize