Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This is the high leading the old right now
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
BRING THE BAGELS
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
