Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
