He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
