Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
