Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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