he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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