just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize