half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize