Me too!
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
