Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
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Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
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He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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