the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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