I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
