If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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