Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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