I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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