well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
