I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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