So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
