the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
