Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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