She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
