people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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