Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
