Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I can text with my tongue
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
