New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
