I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
