allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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