yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
