"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
