I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
