saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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