my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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