Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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